I'm not looking for anything in this world. I just want to be happy in every way that I deserve. I just want to spread love and be loved by all beings. Sometimes, I'm questioning about myself, why do I even exist in this planet? I don't ask for it but why this life hurts me in some points and contexts.
Why do I know people if they eventually walk away from my life?
Why is life so hard?
Why do I fall in love with somebody if that person falls out of love so fast?
Why am I always alone?
Why is reaching all my dreams so difficult?
Why do my loved ones die?
Why is everything not permanent?
Why don't some people care about the others?
Why do I have to feel painful?
Frankly, there are many questions that I want to write right now but I don't know why I get confused now. Too much questions on my head makes me feel dizzy.
I don't want to give up but all my surroundings and my circumstances lead me to give up. God, I believe you know everything; You know all things that the best for me.
God, please take my journey to go to happiness and my dreams. Please don't let any beings hurt me again and don't let me feel sadness and sorrow again.
God, I need You. Please hold my hands.
Yogyakartta, May 31, 2022
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