Love is about the feelings, is not it? I love her very much even though she gazes me as her usual friend. When I am getting closer with her, I want to get more (I mean, I want to hold her hand tightly).
Probably she does not know about my feelings because she is still searching for another love in front of me. She uses the app to look for someone whereas I am the one who really loves her and she neglects my feelings.
We spend time together. We have a favorite restaurant (Nasi Padang) in which we always eat together there. I always look at her face as she is eating and she said : "Do not look at me like that. It is weird" Then I said in the bottom of my heart: "Oh My Gosh, do not you realize that I do love you?"
I do not even know when she can realize about my feelings. I cannot be a brave one to say that I truly love her if she still looks for somebody through the app because I want to see her awarenees.
I have to be patient although sometimes she hurts me by narrating someone. Till the sun stops rising, I will always stay by her side, supporting whatever she does and thinks.
Yogyakarta, May 6, 2019
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