CHAPTER VI "My Ex-" by Irfan Suryana

I am feeling cold tonight. There is no blanket that can cover my body. I am restless right now because I am always neglected by people as if I do not exist in this cruel world. I am stuck in this way. I do not know what to do. My confusion forces me to end my life immediately....

Image result for my ex
[Taken from Google]


Actually my matter is about my Ex-one. I truly miss my Ex. I still remember when we were together; sharing the food, calming my heart, hanging out together, an so on. All those memories still exist in my mind and remind me how hard this life is. 

I remember my Ex's promises to be always next to me no matter what happens but the reality shows that I am alone and lonely right now. I was always careful when I spoke the words because I was afraid that I hurt my Ex. I always endeavored to be always next to when my Ex needed me. 

I AM MISSING MY EX

I really want to see my Ex's face. I want to say all things that I have not been said. I want to do anything that I have not been done. I will always try to make my Ex happy whatever the world takes. I will try to give my Ex everything that I have. --Why did you leave me?-- I am crying now because I cannot hold my tears. If only my Ex knew my feelings completely, perhaps my Ex is still next to me. I do not want to loose my Ex. 

The saddest thing that I know that my Ex does not want to contact or communicate again with me. My Ex blocked my social media so that it is hard for me to contact my Ex again. I often text my Ex, only to know my Ex's condition but there is no answer. I tried to call my Ex but there was no answer as well. 

I know completely that My Ex does not want to recognize me again but why is love like that? Why do we know each other in the first place if we have to hate each other in the ending? There had to be no love between us because what I feel right now are painful and hurting from the pieces of my Ex's love.

My Ex is really far away for me right now. I do not know where my Ex lives. In the past time, my Ex said that we could be together forever but the reality proves that it was a big lie. I expected too much on my Ex so that it is very hard for me to let my Ex go.

I have a sincerest love that I will always give to my Ex but it seems my Ex does not see my sincerity. I cannot protest this situation to God because I am also knowing that God knows that this situation is the best thing for me. Probably, if I and my Ex are together right now, I only get pain. God's plan is always right.

Few days ago, I tried to communicate with my Ex again by texting some messages but there was no "hello" from my Ex. Maybe it is the right time for me to move on. I cannot be like this forevermore. My Ex has been happy without me so I have to look for my happiness without my Ex.If one day my Ex contacts me, I will reply rapidly because I do not want to be the bad one. I try to be always kind to other people including my Ex.

Why do love exist between two lovers but in the end this love has to be over? Now I know the answer; because love gives the lesson of life; it is all about forgiving and compassion.



Yogyakarta May 7, 2018
Irfan Suryana 

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